Cool Breezes

Scene: today, Union Square, Manhattan. Brisk autumn day, breezy, chilly.

A woman, preoccupied, stopped on the corner of Broadway and 17th Street and spun around to look behind her. The chilly breeze lifted her windbreaker (which she hadn't bothered to zip) revealing that underneath she wore only a bra. She seemed unaffected both by her near-nudity and by the shivery breezes that were causing everyone else on the street to search for scarves and gloves.

Sausage Fondle

Walking down 17th Street near Union Square earlier today, I was startled by a deli sign on the sidewalk, which said "We have the World Famous Sausage Fondle!"

Huh? Could I really get my sausage fondled if I went through their smudged glass doors?

I guess I need optical help, because as I got closer, I saw that the sign actually read "We have the World Famous Sausage FONDUE!"

I was somewhat relieved, at first, but then I couldn't really discern which would be worse: Sausage Fondle or Sausage Fondue.

You, dear reader, can decide for yourself.

Amy Sedaris Montage

 

Gold's Gym

 

Sushi - yum!

 

Latter Day Saints

 

Jack Daniels Endorsement

 

Hallmark Sentiment

 

Say No to Drugs

 

Nice Balancing Act