Homosexual Agenda

You've heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, someone managed to sneak into Homosexual Headquarters and got a copy...Here it is:

The Homosexual Agenda

6 a.m. Gym

8 a.m. Breakfast (oatmeal and eggwhites)

9 a.m. Hair appointment

10 a.m. Shopping (Macy's or Nordstrom's)

12 p.m. Brunch

2 p.m.
(1) Assume complete control of U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all the other national governments
(2) Destroy all healthy marriages
(3) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with militant homosexuals who seek to recruit children for the homosexual lifestyle
(4) Bulldoze all houses of worship
(5) Seize control of Internet and all other media
(6) Be utterly fabulous

3 p.m. Beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stresses of world conquest, followed by aromatherapy

4 p.m. Cocktails

5 p.m. Light dinner (soup, salad with arugula & balsamic vinegar dressing, Chardonnay)

8 p.m. Theater

10 p.m. Cocktails in a charming neighborhood bistro

12 a.m. Bed (du jour)