1990 Japanisms

Japanisms from Michael's 1990 Japan Tour

Instructions posted on the back of a hotel room door:

"Preparing for the worst, please check the fire exits guide."
"Please keep the arm guard stopper turned on when you are in the room."
"Please contact front office if there is anything strange."
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Sign in Train Station: I FEEL COKE!
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Menu item from Matenro, a Chinese Restaurant in Tokyo

#44: Fried crap with sweet and sour sauce
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Explanatory notes on a box of chocolates:

"Chocolate has a long, dramatic, and glorious history. The bitter drink made in ancient Latin America had become the very excellent sweets. And now it's our pleasure to taste such luxurious chocolates, but before that we had to overcome lots of difficulties to make such delicious sweets. Thinking of this, we are sure to find the charm of cacao beans and passion and intelligence of humankinds."
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Strip of waxed paper found stretched across the toilet bowl in my hotel room after returning at the end of the day:

"SANITARIZED"
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Imprinted on a bandana for sale at a gift shop at the base of Mount Fuji

"I like bricks! I can build it six highest. I'm going to challenge to build them 10 highest. Don't you try with me?"
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Imprinted on the outside of a cardboard "Domino's" pizza box:

"It looks delicious. That's a stance of Domino's…we will be happ to remake the pizza…"
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Sign above toilet in hotel in Tokyo:

"Please do not dump foreign bodies into toilet."
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On a random piece of paper in a train station:

"Scare be not kit me knee a crew,
Me course Lee hang get kill Joke.
Not curry! Not curry!
OH! What A Bin-Bin Night."
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Sheet of instructions and warnings found in hotel room in Komaki-City

Not to give annoyance to the others by making a great noise or disgusting behaviors.
Not to carry the followings into the room or the hallway:

1. Animals, Birds, etc.
2. Things with loathsome smell.
3. Items of great quantity.
4. Explosive items such as powder, gasoline, etc.
5. Illegally owned guns and swords.

[legally owned ones must be fine]

Not to gamble or behave in a demoralizing manner in this hotel.
Not to fix other items to the room or the furnitures, or work up to after those existing situations.
Not to delivertising matters to the other guests in this hotel.
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"Pizza California" menu blurb:

"Hang up the phone and bask in the joy of happy anticipation. Blue skies and hot pizza from "California" and we're raring to launch a little party."
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Sugar packet blurb:

"Floral Décor: Flowers will speak for themselves even in the simplest jug."

"Decorating with flowers -- from a single rose stem to a houseful of arrangements, frowers always have their own sense of occasion."
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